Desperation and Tribulation
by Harbynger
Summary: -CHAPTER 2 UP- In GOA, there are pilots who fight and destroy the enemy Victim. However, Victim aren't the only ones disturbing the hearts of the candidates. HieadxZero Yaoi, mature, gory. Not for the faint of heart.
1. Default Chapter

Author's Rant: Okay, this is that chapter that I was writing instead of LTLTA. I know, I deserve to die... But, to those who read my other one, here's my proof and my apology. I promise I will get the next chapter of LTLTA up soon. In the meantime, here's the fanfic that I'm writing for my best friend. I decided to post it because she said she liked it. So, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone used in this fic, just the events. I don't even own the mecha... Whimper...

Oh! And, this story is yaoi, so if you don't like that stuff, then please, don't read it. Thanks.

**Desperation and Tribulation**

Chapter 1: Blood Coated Memories

"Fuck!" he hissed, whirling around to face the creature that had just rammed his arm and was now squirming to get away. He quickly whipped out his gun and pointed it right at the creature's head. "Don't you dare…"

One shot, and the creature was robbed of its life. The boy spat to the side and viciously whispered, "Damn Victim…" and swung his arm in a circle, testing the mobility of it. There was large gash across his forearm that stung like hell, and the movement of the arm was painfully sluggish. The Victim had inflicted more damage than it should have and the pilot cursed his slow performance. Now, he would have to go through the annoyance of getting the Ingrid's arm repaired, and that was something he never wanted to deal with.

He bit his lip harshly to push away his thoughts and focus on the battle he had been thrust into. The hoard of Victim that had charged GOA, about twenty of them, all of them rather large for a hoard, had all but disappeared. The teams of Pro-Ings that were sent out had made swift work of them, not without a little effort, however. The pilot of Ingrid number 87, the pilot that had taken out about six of the twenty Victim, could see that most of the pilots were a bit drained from the battle.

"_All targets destroyed. Mission complete. Umm, Hiead? Are you all right?"_

"Yeah," he said, cutting off the pathetic voice of his repairer quickly, not wanting to engage in any conversation at this point. He didn't cut out the line however, knowing that he would probably get demerits for that, but he tuned out any voices that the transmission was picking up. He didn't want anyone pissing him off any more than he already was.

The Victim had come unexpectedly, surprising every member of GOA. Somehow, the group of Victim had passed under GOA's radar and thus were only seen soon enough to get the Pro-Ing out quick enough to lessen the damage on the satellite. Only the pilots near the launching bay were sent out and, luckily, a few of the squads were doing drills out in space. Hiead's squad had been one of them.

Itching for a battle as always, Hiead had launched himself into the middle, swiftly taking out any Victim that got in his way. A couple of the other pilots sped in just as he did and started firing on any Victim that they saw, putting their countless hours of training to use. Zero, the prodigious pilot that was always drooling over the thought of a fight with a Victim had also flew into the middle of the fight, as would be expected. However, he wasn't as loud and obnoxious as he usually was. This time, he was quiet and he seemed a bit distracted from the battle, like something else was on his mind. This, Hiead found as wrong.

He could always count on Zero to be shouting in delight in the middle of a battle and broadcasting to the whole crew how many Victims he shot down, but he hadn't done so this time. Something was obviously bothering the blue-eyed pilot.

Hiead scanned the battlefield slowly, looking to see what damage had been done, and noticed that the certain annoying member of his squad was awfully quiet for just having participated in a Victim battle. Zero was too far away from Hiead, so he couldn't see if there was anything wrong with the Ingrid, but his brows furrowed nonetheless.

_Why isn't he being his usual, idiotic self?_ Hiead thought, denying the fact that he was slightly concerned. He hated Zero more than anything else, but he knew how fine of a pilot Zero was and knew that his loss would be extremely detrimental to GOA. Also, why hadn't Zero flown up to Hiead to brag about how many Victim he had killed? He always did that. Something was…

"Shit!" Hiead whispered harshly as he noticed a huge chunk of the Pro-Ing's side completely torn off. That meant that Zero had been injured just like his Pro-Ing. This was not good.

Hiead quickly whirled his head around and frantically typed out the code to hack into Zero's radio frequency. All thoughts of his victory were completely gone and the pain of his wound vanished, leaving Hiead with only the thoughts of what had happened to Zero. The transmissions sounded suddenly on Hiead's radio and he listened feverishly to what was being said.

"_-ero! Zero! What happened? What's going on? ZERO!_

"_K-kizna… I-I'm okay… Just a… scratch…"_

"_Just a scratch, my ass! Get back here, now!"_

"_I… I can't… S-sorry, Kizna…"_

"_Zero! Zero! Damnit!"_

Hiead fired up his boosters and sped over to where Zero was hovering, dodging all of the oblivious pilots, determined to get to Zero in time. He didn't know how long Zero had had this blow, but he hoped that the dying boy was persistent enough to tough it out. Kizna's surprised voice came through Hiead's radio as he flew towards the injured pilot.

"Hiead? Oh, thank god. Please, bring Zero back quickly! His vitals have shot up into red! I don't know how much longer he can last!"

"Right," Hiead said, forgetting whatever enmity he held for the infuriating repairer and her pilot. All that mattered now was getting Zero to the infirmary, and fast. He quickly closed in on the immobile Pro-Ing and quickly slowed himself so the shock of his slight impact didn't make Zero's injury worse. Once he had Zero's Ingrid cradled in his arms, he hastily flew back to the landing bay, making it clear to the other returning pilots that his landing took precedence. He hoped that they would have enough sense to _move out of the way._

He felt the Pro-Ing in his arms stir a little and he glanced down quickly to see what Zero was doing. He heard a faint, pain-filled voice stammer over the intercom.

"_H-hiead? Hiead, is that… y-you?"_

"Yeah, it's me. Just hold on, Enna. We're almost there."

"Hiead… Th-thank you…" 

Once Hiead was safely inside the dock and he had been ushered into a closed area that was blocked off from the landing bay, he carefully placed Zero's Pro-Ing down on the ground so he could easily get Zero out of the cockpit. He tore off his bindings, opened the hatch to the cockpit, and leapt out of his Ingrid and onto Zero's. He had no idea if the boy was still conscious, but there was a chance. He fervently hoped that the boy was, a coma was not a fun thing to go into, but with the blow that he had taken, it wasn't likely. There was only one way to find out…

Hiead quickly pushed the latch that opened the cockpit and stood back to let it open up. As soon as it was wide enough for him to get through, he leaned in to get Zero but froze in his tracks.

"Shit…" he exclaimed as he saw almost the whole interior coated with Zero's crimson blood. The wound was worse than he had thought. Zero's entire left side of his abdomen was torn to pieces, parts of ribs could be seen sticking out, and it was bleeding profusely. The pilot would be incapacitated for months because of this wound. All from a goddamned Victim…

Hiead kicked himself mentally and leaned in, ripping off the straps that constrained the dying pilot. _There's no time for shock…_ he thought, forcing his mind to the task at hand. _Just get Zero to the infirmary, idiot!_

He slipped his arms under Zero's motionless body carefully and tenderly lifted the boy out of the cockpit, wary of his actions so he could prevent any further injury. As soon as the two were fully out of the cockpit, Hiead sprinted as fast and as gentle as he could to the nearest exit, hoping that he would run into someone that knew the path to the infirmary on the way. He didn't have to wait long as about three of the candidates came running towards him with the nurses from the infirmary and a stretcher ready for Zero's bleeding body. Hiead sighed in relief as he saw the group and slowed his dash, coming to a stop right in front of them. They moved out of his way and he softly laid Zero down on the stretcher, making sure that the wound didn't touch anything that would make it worse. As soon as Zero was on the stretcher, the group ran off to the infirmary to treat the pilot as fast as they could. Hiead, not wanting to see his efforts wasted, ran behind them to the sickbay. He wouldn't let Zero die. He wouldn't.

Hiead furrowed his brows as those last thoughts penetrated his mind. _I won't let him die? Why do I care? That would make me the best. The best!_

He cursed under his breath as he realized the sheer stupidity of his thoughts. Zero was dying! Being the best didn't matter anymore. Hiead had realized by now that even though he might not be the best there is, he could still demolish everyone else and that would help him protect Zion.

"Goddamnit!" he spat his thoughts whirled in his head like a swarm. He had never cared about Zion before! Why was he suddenly so goddamned confused?

_Must be the sight of so much blood… _he thought, realizing that Zero's injury was really fucking with his memories. He bit his lip as the flood overcame him._ I haven't seen that much of the blasted crimson since…No. Don't remember. Zero's life is in danger; that's all that matters._

Luckily, the group reached the sickbay faster than Hiead had expected and Zero was almost immediately submerged in the large tanks that were necessary for his recovery. The tanks were filled with a bluish liquid that would hopefully stop the bleeding and allow the nurses to operate on him. Hopefully it wasn't too late for him. Not that the boy wouldn't stick it out until the end, though. Hiead whispered small reassurances to himself, making sure that no one else could hear them.

"He wouldn't let a stupid wound kill him… No way. Don't die, you idiot… It's not your time…"

He blinked and stopped his words as he felt something start to grow cold on his arms. He looked down with a surprised look on his face and winced as he saw Zero's dark blood coating his arms and quickly turning the white bits of his uniform a deep crimson color. He didn't really care about the blood on him so much as the sheer _amount_ that was on him. There was no way Zero could survive much longer without some more blood. _These nurses had better be good…_

"Excuse me, 87, but… you want to head back to your dorms? It's pretty late, and you look like you could use a shower."

Hiead glanced up at the doctor who was speaking to him and quickly made up his mind, "I'm staying here. If there's a shower in here, then I'll use that, and I know you have some spare clothes."

The doctor blinked and then let out a sigh, running her hands through her hair. "All right, you can stay," she said exasperatedly. She didn't think it was such a good idea for the pilot to stay, but she knew that she wouldn't change his mind at all. She turned and lifted her arm up, gesturing towards a door across the room. "There's a shower in there and you can find some spare uniforms in the cabinets. Just don't use all the water."

Hiead merely nodded and stalked off to cleanse himself of the blood that elicited so many memories he's rather not think about. He stopped however, just as he was opening the door as the voice of the doctor called out to him again.

"Oh, and thanks for bringing the kid in. You saved his life."

"Yeah…" he said quietly and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him. Not caring about the blood that dripped off of his arm, he ran a hand through his feathery hair and sighed, marveling at how fast everything had all happened. _I saved his life…_

"But, why?" he said softly, knowing that earlier, he would have gladly let the idiot die. Why had he been so quick to save the pilot?

Hiead stripped off of his uniform and stepped into the shower, and quietly let the warm water wash all of the blood and his unwelcome thoughts away.

Author's Note: All right, there you go. I don't have much to say right now, so... I'll upload the next chapter soon. Leave a review for me please. Even if you have a nasty one (the nasty ones make me smile).

Harbynger


	2. Healing Words

AR: Here's chapter 2 for ya. I don't have much to say, so...

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters used in this fic. I wish I did, but unfortunately, I don't.

Chapter 2: Healing Words

_Wh… where am I?_

The blue water in the healing tank swirled around the confused blue-eyed pilot, as he lay suspended in the middle. He was lost. His body felt like it wasn't real; the entirety of it was completely numb from the chemicals in the water. It was like he was floating in a dream.

_What happened? I…_ the pilot thought as he tried to remember how he got into this place. Everything was fuzzy. His memories felt like they had been covered by a blanket and he was unable to reach them. His surroundings didn't help much either. The room around him was distorted by the cylindrical glass of the tank, but he could still see people moving around and the machinery that was hooked up to the tank. _Machinery…Oh, god. _

Realization struck him and he hesitantly looked down at his lower body. He was unable to suppress the large gasp that followed and he cringed. Though his wound had finally stopped bleeding, he could see a few of his ribs and the tissue that was exposed. The Victim that snuck up on him had bitten a chunk out of the Pro-Ing and thus injured Zero at the same time. Zero bit his lip to keep from crying at his stupidity at letting his guard down and his breathing became a bit erratic. However, he noticed something strange about the way his breathing felt. _What the…?_

He wasn't hooked up to any oxygen. He was breathing the water.

_I'm… I'm breathing water! _Zero's body stiffened up and he became frantic, not knowing why he hadn't drowned yet. The water swirled around him as he thrashed out weakly; trying to escape whatever nightmare he was in. A couple of the sensors hooked on to him came undone and they floated away from the panicked boy. _Oh, god… Get me out of here…_

"Zero! Cut it out! God damn… Now we'll have to reattach all of the sensors."

_What? Reattach…? Oh… I'm in sickbay,_ Zero realized as he made out the familiar face of GOA's doctor. An embarrassed look spread across his face as he understood what all had happened. After his harrowing experience, someone had brought him here to sickbay. Someone had saved him… _I wonder who did it…_

Zero closed his eyes as he floated in the warm waters of the tank. The waters were soothing; leading him into a calm state of mind, which was quite a change from his drowsiness from the loss of blood. It certainly felt a lot better. He was able to concentrate easier; he didn't lose all of his thoughts as soon as they came up. He was able to remember what all had happened.

He remembered the Victim that had overcome him and bitten his side, catching him off guard. Zero knew that normally he would have stopped the Victim before it got even close to him, but something else was on his mind. He didn't quite know what, but it distracted him from everything else. His usual cheerful nature was suppressed by his confusion and slight depression. What had made him so unfocused? Was it the amount of Victim? No… He had encountered those amounts before and always come out fine. What was it?

Zero bit his lip as an unfamiliar feeling spread through his body making it tingle strangely. _What the…? Is this EX?_ he thought, puzzled at the new feeling. _No… EX is more of an adrenaline rush. This is… different._ He writhed slightly in the tank, this feeling making him feel strange, unnatural. Perhaps it was the chemicals. _Yeah, that must be it…_

"Hey… You awake?"

Zero's eyes flew opened as he heard a familiar voice penetrate his thoughts. He looked through the distorted glass at the speaker and his eyes widened as he saw who it was.

"H-hiead?" he said softly, staring at the crimson-eyed boy as he wrapped a bandage around his forearm. It was Hiead! What was Hiead doing here? His rival pilot _hated_ him; he always spoke to him with contempt in his voice. Zero often got the feeling that Hiead thought of him as a speck of dust. So… why was the pilot here, much less actually talking to Zero?

"What are you doing here?" Zero said quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the dark room. It was eerily quiet… Almost like death had warmed over. Hopefully his small conversation with Hiead would break the silence a little.

"I brought you here," he said, surprising Zero by the fact that Zero could actually _hear_ Hiead through the glass. His surprise was soon changed however as Hiead mumbled an afterthought. "I wasn't going to let you die anyway."

"You weren't… what?" Zero replied, that feeling spreading through his body again. "I thought…. I thought you didn't care."

Hiead paused and merely smirked and rested his arm against the glass, leaning in towards Zero. Zero blinked at the strange look on Hiead's face and stared at him in silence as he tried to understand the look that Hiead was giving him. He had never really seen Hiead smile, so that was surprising enough. But the alluring smirk? That was enough to send experts into a frenzy. Zero gulped slightly at that smile. Hiead's grin simply widened further and he let out a small laugh.

"You know… You look awfully vulnerable in that tank. Keep looking like that and you'll get yourself into trouble."

"I'll what? Ugh, asshole!" Zero said and then looked away quickly, a sulky look on his face. However, he stopped and looked at Hiead out of the corner of his eye, confused at what Hiead had just said. "And, what do you mean 'trouble?'"

"Oh, nothing," Hiead said, that infuriating smirk plastered on his face. Zero huffed and looked off to the side, muttering, "Jerk…" under his breath. He wasn't going to get a straight answer out of the red-eyed pilot, so he decided not to waste his breath. Not that Hiead even _cared_ anyway…

"Ah…" Zero exclaimed softly as he realized that he was wrong. If Hiead didn't care, then why didn't he rescue him from near death? Zero clenched his fist slightly and turned back to Hiead.

"Umm… I guess I should thank you," he said softly, slightly embarrassed about having to apologize to his bitter rival. "You saved my life…"

"Yeah… Don't worry about it," the white-haired boy said, taking his arm off of the tank and putting his hands into his pockets. "You would do the same for me."

Hiead was right. Though the two pilots were bitter enemies in every aspect, Zero couldn't think of living without the constant challenge that Hiead presented. It kept him on his toes; always ready for the unexpected. Their rivalry also helped them both hone their skills and become better pilots than they already were. Not that they needed much improvement in that area, however.

They had both been training at GOA for the exact same time as most of the other candidates, even shorter than some, and yet they had still become two of the best. They were both determined to become Goddess pilots, and they were well on their way to doing so. However, Zero would never become a Goddess pilot if he became unfocused in every battle. The battle with the Victim that had injured him was a huge mistake; it was something that never should have happened. He had let his emotions get in the way, and that was the one thing that led candidates on the road to failure. You were always supposed to have a clear mind, and Zero had broken the rule. With what however, he had no idea.

"What the hell happened out there, Enna?" Hiead asked, breaking Zero's small thought stream. Zero sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them, but not moving enough to reopen or disturb the healing process of his wound. He sighed dejectedly, and looked away from Hiead, a sad look in his eye.

"That's what I'd like to know…"

"Ah," Hiead exclaimed, blinking at Zero's response. _He didn't know? Then, what the hell had bothered him…?_ Hiead thought, confused at what Zero was saying. "You mean you… don't know what distracted you so much?"

"Well, I…" Zero replied, furrowing his brows in his search for answers that he did not have. "I sort of do, I guess… I just… I'm so confused…"

"You're telling me," Hiead said, sniffing slightly. A thoughtful look appeared on his face for a moment and he suddenly turned to the doctor who, at the moment, was leaned over some computer screens. "Excuse me… How long is Zero's recovery going to take?"

The doctor looked over in surprise at his sudden interest in Zero's physical state. "Hmm…" She walked over to Zero and stared at his side through the glass, estimating how long it would take to heal. A warm smile spread across her face and she turned to face both Zero and Hiead at the same time. "Don't worry… With the technology in here, it should only take about a week for Zero to fully recover. By then he'll be well enough to pilot the Pro-Ing once again."

"And…" Zero interrupted quietly, a hopeful look on his face. "How much longer until I can get out of this tank?"

"You should be out of there in another day or two. I don't know exactly when, but it won't be long. Then, you can talk to your friends easily, without the obstruction of this glass."

A look of relief spread across Zero's face and he smiled happily; glad to hear that he wouldn't have to stay in the blue waters much longer. It was calming, but he didn't know how much more of it he could take. He preferred the crisp air of GOA to the warm waters of the tank, anyway.

"Friends…" Hiead said, breaking Zero out of his reverie. "Are we?"

Zero blinked and thought about what the doctor had said. He looked up and found himself looking straight into Hiead's eyes. They both had a look of slight surprise on their faces and when the word sunk in, they both laughed softly. Relief lit up Zero's face as he realized that they actually were friends, if strange ones.

"I guess we are," he said, a warm smile lighting up his face. The smile soon turned into a mischievous grin and he laughed. "Though, I'll still beat you, Hiead! Us being friends doesn't change anything!"

"Do you _ever_ get tired of saying that, Enna?" Hiead said, the smirk back on his face. Hiead truly laughed for the first time, slightly puzzled that he was so… happy with his bitter rival. _Well, they say an enemy is worth a thousand friends,_ Hiead thought, amused at the ironic statement. Though, with Zero and Hiead, it was true. Their laughter died down and they were left with smiles on their faces. Hiead hoped, at least for the moment, that Zero had forgotten about his wound. He seemed like he had, for he was back to his usual, cheerful self. Hiead was glad; no matter how much he loved to see Zero squirm, he didn't like to see him depressed.

"So…" Zero said quietly, trying to break the slightly uncomfortable silence that followed their laughter. "Are you… going to head back to the dorms now?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Well, I'll be out soon, and…" Zero replied, surprised that Hiead had actually considered staying with him. Zero smiled to himself at their strange new relationship. He, however, shook his head. "No, you don't have to stay. I'll see you soon enough, and I'm sure that you're needed for training, so…"

"Yeah, you're right," Hiead replied, nodding slightly. He turned away and walked towards the door slowly, his hands still in his pocket. Before he shut the door behind him however, he turned back to Zero and looked at him. A small smirk crept upon his face and made Zero gasp slightly. _Damnit… _Zero thought as a small blush threatened to show on Zero's face as that strange feeling once again flew through his body. _Don't think like that, idiot… He's just a friend, and a guy at that! What are you thinking?_

"I'll see you in a few days then, Zero. Later."

The door shut and Zero sighed in relief, letting his body finally relax. _What in the world happened?_ Zero thought as confusion at his reaction sunk in. All Hiead had done was smile, which admittedly was not something he did very often. But, why had Zero reacted like that? And why did that feeling flood through him every time Zero had strange thoughts like that?

"Shit…" Zero whispered and curled up into a ball once again, trying to collect his now-scattered thoughts. He closed his eyes and slowed his quick heartbeat, calming himself down. A single thought flew through his mind and he whispered it softly, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"What is it about you, Hiead? What is it that makes me feel so… peaceful?"

AN: All right, chapter 2 is finished. I hope you liked it.

Comments, comments, anyone? Comments are yummy. Just like fresh pineapple. Mmm... Pineapple...


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